For instance, I have no idea why my Dad died…never
will…it accomplished nothing.
When Whitney left our home 9 years ago, I was
devastated…but we may have never had Bryleigh otherwise…so…while it’s still
painful, I can at least accept something amazing came from that pain.
Losing our house b/c of the company we were
buying it from was closed by the state. Despite losing tens of thousands of dollars, we ended up in a
better school district and safer neighborhood.
But again, we had to say goodbye to Whitney (and this
time Lenyx, as well), when she moved to TX to be closer to her parents. My heart aches again. Maybe even more so. I think we were building a stronger
relationship and we loved Lenyx to pieces.
I will never understand why she was brought into our lives for such a
short amount of time, only to leave again.
It hurts me to see them integrated into so much
of my life on here..when in real life..they no longer are.
So you will see changes here. I’ve already updated my sidebar to remove
their tickers…another reminder of birthdays I will not be able to celebrate
with them, since they are now 1,500 miles away.
I will be updating my header as well…sadly
letting go of their pictures. Whenever I
open this blog and I see their precious faces, my heart breaks all over
again.
I look up her page once a month on fb to see
their smiles and how their lives are going…but I do it when I’m prepared to put
myself through that pain. Opening my
blog (while already abandoned by the busyness of life) has become an avoidance
b/c I don’t want to have to remove those parts of my life…AGAIN…
I hope to post more often…but even if I don’t…at
least I won’t be sad every time I open my blog home page…
