Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Changes...

I know things happen for a reason..and it’s one we don’t always understand…

For instance, I have no idea why my Dad died…never will…it accomplished nothing.

When Whitney left our home 9 years ago, I was devastated…but we may have never had Bryleigh otherwise…so…while it’s still painful, I can at least accept something amazing came from that pain.

Losing our house b/c of the company we were buying it from was closed by the state. Despite losing tens of thousands of dollars, we ended up in a better school district and safer neighborhood. 

But again, we had to say goodbye to Whitney (and this time Lenyx, as well), when she moved to TX to be closer to her parents.  My heart aches again.  Maybe even more so.  I think we were building a stronger relationship and we loved Lenyx to pieces.  I will never understand why she was brought into our lives for such a short amount of time, only to leave again.

It hurts me to see them integrated into so much of my life on here..when in real life..they no longer are.

So you will see changes here.  I’ve already updated my sidebar to remove their tickers…another reminder of birthdays I will not be able to celebrate with them, since they are now 1,500 miles away.

I will be updating my header as well…sadly letting go of their pictures.  Whenever I open this blog and I see their precious faces, my heart breaks all over again. 

I look up her page once a month on fb to see their smiles and how their lives are going…but I do it when I’m prepared to put myself through that pain.  Opening my blog (while already abandoned by the busyness of life) has become an avoidance b/c I don’t want to have to remove those parts of my life…AGAIN…

I hope to post more often…but even if I don’t…at least I won’t be sad every time I open my blog home page…


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