Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Holy 1st Communion

Why is it, on important days…ones that are planned, SOMETHING always goes awry? Sometimes I think I just have bad luck. Other times, I feel like God is testing me. Most times, I don’t really care why it wrong, I’m just pissed that it did.

Cadence’s 1st Communion was one of them. Dennis notified his DM that he HAD to be home on 5/5 because it was his daughters 1st Communion. His DM ran him into Laredo, TX earlier that week – but swore to him that he would be home in time. He was supposed to be home the night before, but as my life goes, he was not. Nor was he home first thing that morning. Or later that afternoon. He finally arrived that evening, long after the ceremony and even after the party.

I asked for advice from Mom’s w/kiddo’s that had already received the Sacrament. The #1 thing was to get her hair done professionally. I immediately asked my cousin to do Cadence’s hair. Since it was 3 mos early, I was proud of myself for actually having something arranged long before I needed it. That rarely happens for me.

Two weeks before Communion, my cousin calls me to inform me that she’s decided to go to Columbus w/my Aunt for my other cousins daughters pageant and do her hair. BUT she lined up one of her best friend’s to do Cai’s hair, and since she was the one that taught her everything she knows, we were in good hands.

Ok, I said, though, honestly, I was hurt. I asked months prior to have my cousin do it. Cadence is shy and awkward and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t acting like that when someone was doing her hair.

I get this was her niece in the pageant and that technically Cadence is just a 1st cousin once removed, but growing up the way we did, I guess I always considered our kids/their kids, more than a cousin once removed.

And I know they’re not Catholic so they don’t get how important this day is for a child who is, but that didn’t make the hurt feelings any less.

I appreciated that she lined someone else up for us, but the pageant wasn’t a mandatory event for my cousin to go to…but again..Cai’s not ‘real’ family..

While my hurt feelings were just that, when my emails/mesgs to her bf weren’t returned about when/where to meet to get Cai’s hair done, I was furious. First her bf had said she’d do it, 2nd, I shouldn’t be relying on her bf, I asked MY family and clearly I wasn’t important enough for her to skip one weekend or even come home early.

Maybe it was dumb, it was just getting her hair done, but when I asked that question, I rec’d at least 5 texts telling me ‘I wish I had gotten ___’s hair done professionally’ and so I made sure that was one of the first things I lined up. I actually think I had that figured out before Cai even had a dress!

When I realized my cousin's friend wasn’t going to be doing it, I raced to the salon. First, I didn’t have the $ to get it done, but I was hoping maybe it would be cheaper b/c her hair isn’t that long – no, apparently, it’s not. Second, it was a 45 min wait. Cai had to be at the Church in 50 mins for pics. Clearly getting her hair done – not happening.

I raced home, did what I could w/no knowledge and it fell out before the ceremony started.

On the WAY to Church, I got pulled over b/c I turned left into the right lane. But really, it was b/c after I passed him, he saw my black passenger. It’s good to know racial profiling is still alive and well.  That may sound harsh, but it's true.  Jaiden told me later that night, 'the 2 years i've lived in Toledo, the only 2 times I've been treated badly was out here (we live in a suburb of Toledo)'.  Once when we got pulled over & once at Cai's school.  Ouch.

He was a jerk. He came to the passenger side, though, she wasn’t the one driving. I handed him my license and he told me why he pulled me over. He asked me who the car was registered too, I told him, he asked how I knew him, I said it was my husband. He looked at my license and asked if I still lived at that address (which is where I had just turned from)…then he said, is your license ok? I said, yes…he said, you’re not lying to me are you? umm…WHAT?! Seriously, what?  I get people lie, but quit being so judgemental and realize, some people are actually honest..

Look, I’ll be one of the first people to say a lot of cops get bad press and aren’t really as bad as people say, my aunt & uncle are both retired officers, I used to work at the police dept for 2 yrs while in college…but sometimes, they are. And he was one of them.

While he was waiting for the license check, he said, so we’re pulling people over to check the licenses and to make sure they’re buckled. Hmmm…you said you pulled me over b/c of my turn. Let’s cut to the chase…Jaiden is black, I get it.

He asked where we were heading…not that I understand why this is any of his business, but I replied to my daughters 1st Communion and he said oh who, looking into the van – Cai raised her hand and said, me…

He told her she looked beautiful and good luck.

When my license came back clean, he told me to be careful of how I turn.


Once at the Church, it didn’t get any better. It was hot and we were running late and Dennis wasn’t there and I had to do everything by myself and Cai was the only child in her class only walking w/one parent.

During the procession and during the whole ceremony, Cadence continually searched the back of the Church just incase Dennis walked in. Broke my heart.

After the ceremony and pictures, we raced to my aunts house for her party. She had a great time and I was happy once it was done. I was sooo tired and I just wanted to crawl into bed. Dennis got home shortly after I was done cleaning up, so we went and picked him up. Cadence was so happy to see him, it had probably been close to 3 wks since had been home.

At the end of the day, when I look at these pictures, it was a beautiful day. Do I wish Dennis was there, of course, do I wish her hair had been done, yep…but she received an important sacrament, so I will not let those setbacks overshadow what she celebrated.

“May you always feel as close to Jesus as you do today. May you always count on Him to gently guide you
on your way. May you always trust in God to answer every single prayer. May you always feel Him blessing you with tender, loving care.”

a bit of organized chaos

Receiving her Communion
"With all the strength of my soul I urge you young people to approach the Communion table as often as you can. Feed on this bread of angels whence you will draw all the energy you need to fight inner battles. Because true happiness, dear friends, does not consist in the pleasures of the world or in earthly things, but in peace of conscience, which we have only if we are pure in heart and mind."

--Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati
Right after receiving Communion...she knows she's blessed

 Josh, Liz & Cadence

Bry, Chai, Colin, Tae

Cadence & the Priest

I love my girls!!

Our gift to Cadence was an outfit for her AG doll...her hair was actually done, but Bryleigh played with it during the service.

Probably my most favorite picture of the day!

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