Holy 1st Communion

Why is it, on important days…ones that are planned, SOMETHING always goes awry? Sometimes I think I just have bad luck. Other times, I feel like God is testing me. Most times, I don’t really care why it wrong, I’m just pissed that it did.

Cadence’s 1st Communion was one of them. Dennis notified his DM that he HAD to be home on 5/5 because it was his daughters 1st Communion. His DM ran him into Laredo, TX earlier that week – but swore to him that he would be home in time. He was supposed to be home the night before, but as my life goes, he was not. Nor was he home first thing that morning. Or later that afternoon. He finally arrived that evening, long after the ceremony and even after the party.

I asked for advice from Mom’s w/kiddo’s that had already received the Sacrament. The #1 thing was to get her hair done professionally. I immediately asked my cousin to do Cadence’s hair. Since it was 3 mos early, I was proud of myself for actually having something arranged long before I needed it. That rarely happens for me.

Two weeks before Communion, my cousin calls me to inform me that she’s decided to go to Columbus w/my Aunt for my other cousins daughters pageant and do her hair. BUT she lined up one of her best friend’s to do Cai’s hair, and since she was the one that taught her everything she knows, we were in good hands.

Ok, I said, though, honestly, I was hurt. I asked months prior to have my cousin do it. Cadence is shy and awkward and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t acting like that when someone was doing her hair.

I get this was her niece in the pageant and that technically Cadence is just a 1st cousin once removed, but growing up the way we did, I guess I always considered our kids/their kids, more than a cousin once removed.

And I know they’re not Catholic so they don’t get how important this day is for a child who is, but that didn’t make the hurt feelings any less.

I appreciated that she lined someone else up for us, but the pageant wasn’t a mandatory event for my cousin to go to…but again..Cai’s not ‘real’ family..

While my hurt feelings were just that, when my emails/mesgs to her bf weren’t returned about when/where to meet to get Cai’s hair done, I was furious. First her bf had said she’d do it, 2nd, I shouldn’t be relying on her bf, I asked MY family and clearly I wasn’t important enough for her to skip one weekend or even come home early.

Maybe it was dumb, it was just getting her hair done, but when I asked that question, I rec’d at least 5 texts telling me ‘I wish I had gotten ___’s hair done professionally’ and so I made sure that was one of the first things I lined up. I actually think I had that figured out before Cai even had a dress!

When I realized my cousin's friend wasn’t going to be doing it, I raced to the salon. First, I didn’t have the $ to get it done, but I was hoping maybe it would be cheaper b/c her hair isn’t that long – no, apparently, it’s not. Second, it was a 45 min wait. Cai had to be at the Church in 50 mins for pics. Clearly getting her hair done – not happening.

I raced home, did what I could w/no knowledge and it fell out before the ceremony started.

On the WAY to Church, I got pulled over b/c I turned left into the right lane. But really, it was b/c after I passed him, he saw my black passenger. It’s good to know racial profiling is still alive and well.  That may sound harsh, but it's true.  Jaiden told me later that night, 'the 2 years i've lived in Toledo, the only 2 times I've been treated badly was out here (we live in a suburb of Toledo)'.  Once when we got pulled over & once at Cai's school.  Ouch.

He was a jerk. He came to the passenger side, though, she wasn’t the one driving. I handed him my license and he told me why he pulled me over. He asked me who the car was registered too, I told him, he asked how I knew him, I said it was my husband. He looked at my license and asked if I still lived at that address (which is where I had just turned from)…then he said, is your license ok? I said, yes…he said, you’re not lying to me are you? umm…WHAT?! Seriously, what?  I get people lie, but quit being so judgemental and realize, some people are actually honest..

Look, I’ll be one of the first people to say a lot of cops get bad press and aren’t really as bad as people say, my aunt & uncle are both retired officers, I used to work at the police dept for 2 yrs while in college…but sometimes, they are. And he was one of them.

While he was waiting for the license check, he said, so we’re pulling people over to check the licenses and to make sure they’re buckled. Hmmm…you said you pulled me over b/c of my turn. Let’s cut to the chase…Jaiden is black, I get it.

He asked where we were heading…not that I understand why this is any of his business, but I replied to my daughters 1st Communion and he said oh who, looking into the van – Cai raised her hand and said, me…

He told her she looked beautiful and good luck.

When my license came back clean, he told me to be careful of how I turn.

Suck.It.

Once at the Church, it didn’t get any better. It was hot and we were running late and Dennis wasn’t there and I had to do everything by myself and Cai was the only child in her class only walking w/one parent.

During the procession and during the whole ceremony, Cadence continually searched the back of the Church just incase Dennis walked in. Broke my heart.

After the ceremony and pictures, we raced to my aunts house for her party. She had a great time and I was happy once it was done. I was sooo tired and I just wanted to crawl into bed. Dennis got home shortly after I was done cleaning up, so we went and picked him up. Cadence was so happy to see him, it had probably been close to 3 wks since had been home.

At the end of the day, when I look at these pictures, it was a beautiful day. Do I wish Dennis was there, of course, do I wish her hair had been done, yep…but she received an important sacrament, so I will not let those setbacks overshadow what she celebrated.

“May you always feel as close to Jesus as you do today. May you always count on Him to gently guide you
on your way. May you always trust in God to answer every single prayer. May you always feel Him blessing you with tender, loving care.”




a bit of organized chaos

Receiving her Communion
"With all the strength of my soul I urge you young people to approach the Communion table as often as you can. Feed on this bread of angels whence you will draw all the energy you need to fight inner battles. Because true happiness, dear friends, does not consist in the pleasures of the world or in earthly things, but in peace of conscience, which we have only if we are pure in heart and mind."

--Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati

 

Right after receiving Communion...she knows she's blessed

 Josh, Liz & Cadence

Bry, Chai, Colin, Tae

Cadence & the Priest

I love my girls!!

Our gift to Cadence was an outfit for her AG doll...her hair was actually done, but Bryleigh played with it during the service.

Probably my most favorite picture of the day!

Disabilities

It's taken me a long time to be able to sit down and right this post.  It's so hard to hear how bad your child's learning disability is...especially when you are in denial.
I mentioned here that we knew she had some learning disabilities, but even though her teacher told me she was a grade behind - I was still hurt and sad when I listened to the full report from a therapist that administered a a 4 hr diagnostic testing. 

I wanted to cry, tell them they were wrong..that MY child couldn't have reading issues.  We've read to her since she was an infant..before she was born...that her dad & I LOVE to read and no way could we have a child that would have an issue reading. 
After I listened to them and let the information sink it, I went from sad to mad.  I was mad b/c I worked with her..I spent hour upon hour reading with her...writing until the pencils were dull...and yet it was like not a moment of that mattered.  I couldn't place my anger..was I mad at her?  How unfair and what kind of mom would be mad at their child?  Was I mad at God because I have an amazing daughter and she doesn't deserve to have to struggle with something like learning?  Was I mad at myself because this somehow must be my fault??  Should I have read the night we skipped because I was so tired?  Was it somehow related to have a leg full of dvt's early in my pregnancy? Was it because I received morphine while I was pregnant with her?  Was it because they did TWO x-rays while I was pregnant?  I didn't want them to, but my dr. had to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was in so much pain (turns out - I have 3 kidneys and she was backing one up...worst pain ever!  Even worse then delivery!)...Was it Dennis' fault?  He struggled in school and his brother is learning disabled...is it genetic??

A lot of praying, yelling and crying later and I finally came to terms with her being learning disabled.  And it's not just reading, it's math and money and science. 

But to prove God loved my child, that God knows she is smart in her own way and that she just Learns Differently, she loves her Religion class and excels at it.
That actually brings a lot of peace to this momma's hurt heart.

So began my google journey on learning disabilities - narrowed to reading.  Quite a few pages said children entering school w/slight dyslexia (which she was also diagnosed with) would probably adjust quickly after being in school a short time and most of their problems will reverse.  However, children from poorer homes, who ususally weren't read too and weren't around books will struggle longer, if not forever.   I was mad b/c Cai wasn't adjusting quickly and they are lumping all the kids in one of those two groups.  So if she's not the mild dyslexic that reverses shortly after starting school, I 'read' that she was one of these other kids who will always struggle.  Every child's disability is unique and it's not fair to write it that way.  Especially when a mom is researching b/c she was just told her child has a learning disability.  Nice way to make you feel like shit.

She had her testing at one of the local universities b/c our insurance doesn't cover it.  Of course.  If you EVER need to have your child (ren) tested for learning disabilities, speech problems, etc - check with your local university.  It is MUCH much cheaper than Sylvan or other private institutes.
They suggested bringing her in for therapy once a week for an hour.  Because it was in the middle of a semester she only had 8 sessions.
Even thought it's only 20 mins from where we live, it's about 30-40 minutes from work.  The sessions were right after school and it's very difficult for me to get her there.  Thankfully, my mother-in-law and mom have been quite helpful taking her to therapy, which I appreciate more than I can show. 
She did well during the first session, the grad student she was working with was a bit apprehensive.  My opinion was that she wasn't very comfortable around kids...but she was very sweet.
After Cai finished the first session, they sent us her updated evaluation and suggested we bring her twice a week, for an hour each session.
I was able to schedule one on Fri's and since my mom is off on Fri's she takes her to those appts.  My mother-in-law and I split her Mon appts.  It's still stressful, but knowing this is helping her - well that means more than the stress!

As she finishes her 2nd session, I hope that there is a little (I mean, I'll take a sprinkle) of improvement. 

So now we wait for her school year to finish, which is just a few short weeks away.  Enjoy summer - with a shorter summer session to attend - and pray..a lot...that it all starts to 'click' for my girl..

19

Dear Whitney,

19 years old.  Wow.  For me the last 7 years have gone so quickly.  It truly seems impossible! 
You're in our life and it's hard for me not to be more involved.  I don't want to push and invade..I mean - I do - but I don't want to scare you away.
While, I long for the day when we can have cake & ice cream and presents like we do with Cadence & Bryleigh, I understand that you're an adult and your plans for partying are way more exciting than a simple dinner w/cake & ice cream!

Until you're ready to enjoy more family traditions, I am thankful to have you back in our lives & I hope today is fun and you have a great time with your brother!

Happy 19th Birthday beautiful!

We love you,
Dennis, Missy, Cadence & Bryleigh

Crayon Letter - teacher gift

Cadence was feeling particularly crafty this weekend and wanted to make something for her teacher. So, as a supportive mommy, I looked up easy crafts for her to do. I found this link for a easy teacher gifts..

First, it wasn't as cheap as this link says - but 2nd, it wasn't easy. Cutting those crayons is actually quite a task. Cadence definitely couldn't do it on her own. She lined up the crayons and took the paper off, but that was all she could really do. It was a mom/kid craft and you can tell..but overall, it was fun to work on w/her!

And her manipulating the crayon layout was a great exercise for her. Both for creativity and to use her fingers.

While I enjoyed making this with her, I know this is a craft I won't ever do in the future.

Until next time.... MSD

Gymnastics

Bryleigh has been begging me to join cheerleading for....ever???  I had Cadence in competitive cheer when she was 3, but that's b/c the dr suggested it to help her get over her debilitating shyness.  Bryleigh is far from shy.  I had every intention of having them both cheer together, but after Cadence said she didn't want to cheer in the 13/14 season, I was kind of like, ya know what, I'd like a break too!  Of course, 2 months into the season, Cadence regretted it.  To make up for that, I signed her up for tumbling lessons and put Bry in gymnastics.  She LOVES it!  This is just an activity to tide them over until they can cheer in the 14/15 season.

 

 

 

Walleye



There is a local disaester clean up company that offers a lot of continuing ed courses for insurance agents.  They pop into our office every few months to check in, answer questions, pass out their flyer for us to suggest to our clients.  Well, they also offer family nights a few times a year. 

This happened to be the Walleye Family Fun Night.  Free tickets to the Walleye game & a meet & greet w/all of the mascots, including the Mud Hens mascots.

Cadence had a cheer comp RIGHT before this and we had to RACE to the game to get our tickets.  Thankfully, we made it with enough time to get pictures w/the Toledo gang!

 

 

 

 

Happy Valentine's Day

Cheerleading solves the winter blahs!

Cadence has been in All Star Cheer since she was 3...we've never stayed overnight at any of her competitions..and she's had them in KY before.  She's probably been to the Kalahari comp about 5 or 6 times, but this time, we decided to stay overnight as part of Cai's b/day present.
She LOVED IT.  Taking a friend of her choice was part of the gift.  She decided to bring Madison with her.
The girls had a blast and worked hard at their comp.  I'm so proud of her and how hard she works!

 

 

The girls slept like crazy people..I mean, they were laying the same way - and then I woke up and Cai was like this....so really, i guess Cai is the crazy one....  After hours at the water park, I could barely walk and the girls were knocked out!  Not sure it was worth the almost $300, but it sure was fun and a great memory.

 

Shake it for a Good Cause!!

In September, the biggest fundraisers of theyear for the Apraxia support group …it’s insanity and fun and raises TONS of money!  YAY!  On 2/1, the Apraxia group had a new fundraiser…a Zumbathon!  It was a BLAST!!  I volunteered, and still felt the energy and excitement form all the participants as they were shaking it for the cause!

 

 

 

It was a lot of fun & even better, Sarah kindly volunteered to help me at the registration table! I can’t wait to see how big it is next year!!

We have been beyond blessed to have found this group..I can't say enough nice things about the members...apraxia may suck - but it's an awesome feeling to know there is this amazing support group out there!

Whitney Marie

This story is long and painful, and while sharing it brings up the pain I went through 6 yrs ago, I am also beyond ecstatic that one of the girls we brought into our lives and hearts at that time, has come back to our family.
6 1/2 years ago, Dennis & I were going to adopt 2 sisters. The oldest, Whitney, & I bonded quickly. It took no time at all for her to become my daughter. The youngest had a hard time adjusting to not being the baby anymore (Cai was the baby) & there were a lot of other problems.
They were eventually moved to their old foster home.... If we didn't have Cadence, things would have been different and we would have been able to do something to fix the things that were broken, but we couldn't put Cadence through that, so with a very heavy heart, we accepted the new future, without them.
During these last 6 years, I've dreamt about Whitney, prayed for her, reminisced over pictures. That girl stole my heart. I wanted to contact her, but out of respect for her and her family, I didn't think it was a good idea. I wanted her to have a fresh start without me holding her back.
She turned 18 last yr. I waited until she moved out and contacted her. She's been part of our lives since. I feel like a void has been filled. She loves being an older sister to my girls, she's asked if its ok to call me mom (UHH YESSS!!) and enjoys spending time with us and doing family things. It makes me so happy to have her back. I've missed the last 6 yrs but I'm gonna make sure to be in the next 70!! We are very excited 2 have her back in our lives.  Its hard to believe she's not the same 12 yr old girl asking me questions about life, but she's turned into a beautiful adult with a fantastic future. 

Dammn Girrll

There is no doubt in my mind, when Bryleigh is older, whomever marries her, better be rich AND up to the task of caring for her. 
At 3, she is already demanding.  Not in the 'damn that kid is a brat' way..well at least not to outsiders...but at home - this kid wants back rubs and foot rubs and wants her nails done and her hair to be beautiful.
The massages are what kills me.  She will plop down next to me and throw her feet up onto my lap & say 'rub my feet, please'.  She says please, how can I not listen to her demands? 
The moment I quit rubbing her feet, she coughs and moves her foot so I will start back up.  WTF, kid? You're 3!  It only gets better..
This morning, as I lay in bed, dozing in and out of sleep, she crawls in next to me.  She puts her face into mine and says, 'I nuv you, mymom' - apraxia translation: I love you, Mommy.  My heart melts..  Then she says, 'wub my ba pease' (rub my back please)... So I start rubbing her back, she pulls away, pulls her shirt up to her shoulders and lays back down.  I mean, yea, I get it - it feels better on your skin then thru your shirt..so I start over, gently rubbing her back, hoping she'll fall back to sleep.
Turns out, I fall back to sleep.  Not for long, though.  Bryleigh starts floudering around, like a fish out of water  It startles me a bit and I open my eyes.  At this point, I don't totally grasp what happened, but Bryleigh lifts her head ever so slightly and says 'mom, wub my ba'. 
I began to rub her back, putting myself back to sleep.  Again, I feel Bryleigh popping around & wake up...this happens a few more times and I realize, she's flopping around like a fish to make me start 'tickling' her back again.  I mean, come on...can mommy go back to sleep.
She annoys me to the point of hysterics.  I can't help but laugh when she does this, so yes, I know her demandingness is probably my fault, but really, when something so tiny is that demanding, you can't help but get a kick out of her spirit!

Continue to demand what you want, Bryleigh Noelle, just make sure you don't hurt anyone in your quest to run the show!

Merry Christmas